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January 26, 2023

Lessons in FranceLetting go of control appears to be the key to change

I started the new year well sick. I cannot remember when was the last time I was out of action for so long. It took two weeks before I picked up my activities again. And after three weeks, I still have to cough occasionally. And my condition has become even worse. I can also see that this is not for nothing.

A solid flu got me. With a group of people spending Christmas and New Year’s here, where there were already the requisite sick people. And many fell ill during the days here, or shortly after returning home. I, too, had to suffer this time. Me, who actually always stays up. For about five nights, I even spent a lot of time sitting down. Until I was so tired I could lie down without coughing the lungs out of my body. I had a fever. Two inflamed eyes, due to the stress of coughing. I looked like hell. And I felt terrible. And 1 day I even spent half a day with my eyes pretty much only closed. Oh yes and my smell was suddenly gone. I got it back partly thanks to an ear candle!

And no matter how bad I felt, I realised that this was happening for a reason. And I could well surrender to it. Because, I am having more and more fun with how illness works. And also programming. To take an example: Do I get sick because someone with a booster has been nearby and I ‘blame’ that, or did I get sick because something else was going on and it is then arranged in the cosmos in such a way that something I am sensitive to can trigger my health and there is an opportunity for healing?

Since being at a location in France, I have noticed that I am here for a reason. And soon I discovered that letting go and especially letting go of control is something, which apparently I get to resolve here. And what it takes to do that comes my way. And that’s quite a lot I can tell you.

Thus began our adventure here, with a timber week. Although we didn’t come for that, because we came to build a tiny house, we were taken in. I also wanted to learn how to cut down a tree. How the machines work. How to chop logs with an axe and do it myself, etc.. I’m just not one of the ‘guests’, nor am I a ‘crew member’. We have just arrived and have a mission to do here.

It’s been an intensive timber week, where I was plenty triggered. And there has been a lot of time for reflection recently. And I suddenly realised something.

After HAVO, I did a one-year private course to become a Euro-Hostess. 1 year, 23 subjects, with which I could enter both tourism and business. A tough course, they said beforehand. But I never regretted it. And I did indeed work in tourism and business. And I realise that my experience in tourism, but certainly also in marketing, has made me aware of what ‘guests’ or ‘customers’ want or need.

I think it is important that guests feel welcome and that a host or hostess puts his/her own ‘needs’, before those of his/her guests. That care is taken to ensure cleanliness (degree of cleaning) in all rooms, but bedroom, kitchen, bathroom and toilet is extra important to me. That there are also small details, showing that they are happy with their guest(s). If there are stitches in that, I find that very difficult not to address and fix it. But who am I solving it for? Probably only for myself!?

I’m starting to realise, that choosing hostess training, organising, being a hostess fits with my need to have and keep control myself. Because organising something, thinking about details, then I am more or less in control of the outcome. Doing it the way you think most people like it (though there’s a lot of assumption in that area too). Making guests feel comfortable, making them feel welcome, helping them with tips on where to see and do what. Welcoming people at the airport (How cool was it that in Tunisia, when a flight arrived, I was allowed to welcome, via a microphone, the people who had landed on a charter flight. In both German and French (Tunisia’s second language). Sort of like an announcer at a train station. DING DONG… and then put on such a public address voice, haha).

I like to help guests, but I do have boundaries. For instance, some German guests behaved impossibly, when I worked on Corfu in 1993. The most common complaint I got there was people at the reception did not speak German. I invariably responded: ‘How many languages do you speak?’ Almost always the answer was: 1. German. And yes, this was in the early 1990s, after East Germany had opened up and they were finally allowed to travel freely. No idea what their schooling was like, but travelling to another country and then expecting to be spoken to in your own language, I find that quite an extraordinary assumption. So I always indicated that the man or woman at reception already speaks at least 2 and often a third. And the guest himself? Who then spoke only German.

Who chooses to holiday abroad and expects to be able to continue speaking their own language? At least Germans are good at it.

The most unusual complaint I received was when a group of 3 were in a room/apartment for 3. They came to me very exasperated, complaining that there were only 2 hooks to hang your towel or bathrobe on. Surely this was a room suitable for 3 people?
That’s when I dropped out. And I knew I wouldn’t be able to do this job for decades. Are people really going to whine about things like this now? Do you really let something like this affect your holiday mood? Hang it over a door. Over a chair. A mirror. Be creative. ‘Let it go’ I would probably say in this day and age 😉.

The hostess in me, re-emerges in this place. Where we are is a tourist spot. There is also a campsite near it. Because we live in a caravan, we naturally also experience the place as ‘camping guests’. But because we also dwell in the houses, we also notice what it is like there. And we see what is pleasant and what we experience as ‘special’. For instance, the lighting in the showers is way below par for us. My first reaction was: ‘I’ll just screw in another bulb’.
But then what do I do? Stay in control myself, and make something so that it is right for me.
Over the past few months, I discovered that this is not the best approach at all.

I now know that there are also people here who are sensitive to lamplight. And who like mood lighting. They probably ‘finally’ get somewhere, where the lighting is pleasant for them. And me? I’ll take a torch with me from now on and switch it on so that I have more light when showering and dressing.
Everyone happy.

And as small as this may seem, I am beginning to understand more and more how big a deal this is for me. Because apparently the need for control is linked to weight retention! A revelation to me! And the more control I can let go of, the more weight I seem to lose. At least, for now, I see a link between that.

For me, there is something that has changed energetically that makes me really feel, too, that this is not going to be there anymore. And because of everything we go through, I quite understand that others sometimes wonder, why we stay. And I know now. I will stay until it is resolved, or until I have to leave or feel I have to move on to resolve another piece elsewhere. Apart from Leo and Yanaica, no one knows what goes on with me. And that’s fine. Because what doesn’t know, can’t be consciously involved 😉 . We shouldn’t get into a situation where others start telling me how I should react because they know what’s going on. That’s not going to work. That insight and that feeling has to come from within myself. This is something I have to resolve.

And frankly, I do get quite happy with the insights I’ve gained in the meantime. And that illness? It is helping me in my transformation process. I am listening to new things again. I’m getting inspired again. And I let myself be led to the next thing that is good for my development. And in the meantime, I enjoy all the lessons ❤️.

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