I notice that I regularly struggle with the concept that everyone can be who they are. Without judgement. How does that work in real life? I can not see it. Do I want to be in a community with everyone? Are like-minded people also like-wanted people? Do I just want to allow everything that happens around me? And should none of that bother me at all? Should I have compassion for everyone, where (s)he is now, and thus cover everything with the love? I think I am still far from being ‘enlightened’, at least if that is the intention. I would like to organize a discussion group on this theme, because I think many people struggle with this.

This of course applies to everyone 😅. It is precisely this duality that allows us to choose in life: I like that, I don’t like that.

Part of me likes certain things. Such as nature, silence, peace, reading, in-depth conversations, the sea, the trees, the beach, terraces, keeping appointments, workshops, discovering new places, having a certain degree of luxury, to name just a few things.
Part of me doesn’t like other things. Such as throwing waste in nature, noisy people, loud music in nature, smoke from a cigarette blowing towards me, small talk, having responsibility for a dog, people walking on the street calling so you can follow the conversations, people walking or driving past with their (loud) music playing, speed bumps in the streets, people lying clothed on or walking on a nudist beach, sprayed vegetables, animals that are not treated well, to name just a few things.

The first thing I notice about these two things is that in the list of things I like, there is little interaction with people, and what I don’t like, there is a lot of interaction with people. What? Are people mainly a disturbing factor for me?

People around me (not family/friends but the people who are at the places where we are) do quite a lot of things that go against what I believe in, what I like or what I love. How do I deal with that?
From the Law of Attraction I could state, that their energy is still in my energy field, which is why I still encounter them. But is the solution really just changing my frequency? The highest frequency is that of love. But how can I feel love if someone doesn’t take me into account? As if my wishes don’t matter?
I wish I could stay in love, but sometimes I just can’t stand it! I am far from being enlightened, that much is clear 😉 .

I think I take others into account a lot. Like Confucius said: “Do not do to others what you would not want others to do to you”. I will put in earphones if someone else could hear the sound, I will throw away my waste in the appropriate bins or if not available, I will take it with me. I don’t talk too loud (usually). I consciously choose not to have a dog because I cannot see into the future and believe that I cannot simply get rid of an animal because it is not convenient or that I have to limit myself again about what is and is not possible. I’ll keep my mouth shut if I think it’s wiser. So I do the things that I would like others to do as well.

To me it feels like a lot of people only takes themselves into account. Most ignore the fact that what they do has an effect on their environment. When I’m reading, I don’t disturb anyone. If someone listens to music on the phone without earphones, he/she will disturb the environment. When I eat a sandwich I don’t bother anyone, when someone smokes a cigarette the wind decides who gets to enjoy it. And strangely enough, that’s often me 😉.

If I should have compassion for everyone, then I also should have compassion for myself, right?
What does it mean when I have compassion for others? Do I think: “oh, they don’t know any better”? Or should I not think anything. Am I only meant to feel love? What do you actually feel when you have compassion? Compassion should not be feeling sorry for someone. I understand the difference in explanation between compassion and pity. But emotionally? What does compassion actually feel like?

And what does it mean when I have compassion for myself? That I’m allowed to feel like crap when things happen that I don’t like? What if someone makes me part of something I don’t want to be part of? Or that I shouldn’t feel crappy, and I just should accept that everyone is who they are, including myself?

If we are in a ‘we doit together’ society, are yo always be able to do what you want, or do you take each other into account? Although I am only in my fifties, I see that a huge shift has taken place. In the dark people just talk out loud, while we used to whisper. When the mobile phone came along, everyone said what nonsense it was to call on the street. And now it has become ‘normal’. The trend is very individualistic. While at the same time there is a movement towards more community.

But how can we live in a community, in a village, in a city, if we focus primarily on ourselves and our wishes? If we don’t take others into account?

Or am I selfish and focused on my own wishes, because I prefer not to be disturbed by the behavior of others? Or should we not cause each other inconvenience with what we do? Can we take each other a bit more into consideration?

Maybe I belong in a hut on the heath, without others. Sometimes I think that’s the only way. But I cannot escape normal life. I Also do our shopping, drive in traffic, go to the beach and occasionally find myself at a campsite with all kinds of people, of which there are quite a few who do not take their fellow man into account. Or, are those people who do not consider others fully themselves? Or are they selfish? Is it anti-social behavior? Or is it nice to take each other into account?

I like deep conversations, eating together, cooking together, making things together. So I don’t really want to live like a hermit at all. How can I stay away from the irritation? And still have the feeling that I am not disturbed by the behavior of others?

What also strikes me is that a lot of understanding only has to go in one direction. A number of situations:

A meat eater can cook vegan for guests or for themselves, but a vegan will never put meat on the table for guests

People go to the nudist beach wearing pants and bathing suits, but if nudists were to sit naked on a clothed beach, the weather would not be possible

Many people who smoke consciously smoke outside. But they do not understand that outside there is indeed a nuisance for non-smokers. Well, non-smokers cannot cause smokers any inconvenience in that respect

A Muslim should be able to live in the Western world with burqas and headscarves, but when we go to Arab countries, we also have to adapt our clothing to the country. In fact, Muslims and immigrants are the basis of the growing prudishness of The Netherlands.

Those who choose to treat a disease in an alternative way are condemned and given a ‘your own fault’ label if they still die, but if the regular circuit is followed and they still die, then this an unfortunate event.

And, as has become visible in recent years, anyone who wants to live in fear wants to follow the lines to stay in fear. But those who do not live in fear are not allowed to make their own choices and must adapt to the faint-hearted (excuse-my-French)

I usually come to an insight while writing. I have to tell you that it is not working this time.
I’ll see if I can enable the comments under just this blog. Or send me a message on Telegram or via mail. Because I would love to find a way that feels good.